Remedial exchanges. Unsere Natur als homo sociologicus Unsere Sozialfähigkeit ist angeboren und unterscheidet uns von anderen Arten. M. Tomasello et al

Remedial Remedial exchangesexchanges

Unsere Natur als „homo Unsere Natur als „homo sociologicus“sociologicus“

Unsere Sozialfähigkeit ist angeboren und Unsere Sozialfähigkeit ist angeboren und unterscheidet uns von anderen Arten.unterscheidet uns von anderen Arten.

M. Tomasello et al. M. Tomasello et al.

Das zweijährige Menschenkind besitzt die Das zweijährige Menschenkind besitzt die Fähigkeit, dem Gegenüber behilflich sein Fähigkeit, dem Gegenüber behilflich sein zu wollen, Kontakte zu initiieren und zu wollen, Kontakte zu initiieren und beizubehalten sowie das Ziel den beizubehalten sowie das Ziel den Anderen zu verstehen und ihm dabei zu Anderen zu verstehen und ihm dabei zu helfen, dieses zu erreichen. helfen, dieses zu erreichen.

In einer Kultur lernen wir In einer Kultur lernen wir die kulturspezifischen die kulturspezifischen

sozialen Normensozialen Normen

Sozialisation: symbolisches Lernen Sozialisation: symbolisches Lernen und Verinnerlichung der sozialen und Verinnerlichung der sozialen Normen in der Interaktion. Normen in der Interaktion.

dyad dyad triad triad understanding one’s understanding one’s relation to the worldrelation to the world

Soziale Normen: RegelnSoziale Normen: Regeln

• Formale Normen vs. informale Formale Normen vs. informale NormenNormen

• Vorschrift vs. StandardVorschrift vs. Standard• Prinzipien vs. KonventionenPrinzipien vs. Konventionen• …………

Soziale NormenSoziale Normen

Sanktionen unterstützen soziale Normen.Sanktionen unterstützen soziale Normen.

Die soziale Außenleitung beschränkt die Die soziale Außenleitung beschränkt die Verhaltensweise des Individuums.Verhaltensweise des Individuums.

1. Verpflichtung: etwas den anderen gegenüber 1. Verpflichtung: etwas den anderen gegenüber (nicht) zu tun(nicht) zu tun

2. Erwartung: dass die anderen ihm gegenüber etwas 2. Erwartung: dass die anderen ihm gegenüber etwas (nicht) tun (nicht) tun

Die omnipräsente Die omnipräsente VerantwortungVerantwortung

• Derjenige, der seine Verantwortung zur Derjenige, der seine Verantwortung zur Erfüllung der Verpflichtung ignoriert oder Erfüllung der Verpflichtung ignoriert oder vernachlässigt, ist dafür verantwortlich, vernachlässigt, ist dafür verantwortlich, eine Wiedergutmachung zu versuchen und eine Wiedergutmachung zu versuchen und Respekt für den Vorgang der Korrektion Respekt für den Vorgang der Korrektion oder Heilung zu zeigen. oder Heilung zu zeigen.

Können Wörter weh tun?Können Wörter weh tun?

Sticks and stones may break my Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt bones, but words will never hurt me.me.

Die Macht der WörterDie Macht der Wörter

““Words, like guns, can be loaded. Words, like guns, can be loaded. And, like guns, they can And, like guns, they can threaten, hurt, and wound. They threaten, hurt, and wound. They can even kill—relationships and can even kill—relationships and reputations. There are always reputations. There are always risks, when we use words.”risks, when we use words.”

David Crystal David Crystal

Die Macht der Entschuldigung Die Macht der Entschuldigung “All I want is an apology!” “All I want is an apology!”

“ “People who have been hurt or humiliated often People who have been hurt or humiliated often hope for an apology. They may hope that an hope for an apology. They may hope that an apology from the person who caused them harm apology from the person who caused them harm will restore dignity, trust, and a sense of justice. will restore dignity, trust, and a sense of justice. Whether you are requesting an apology or Whether you are requesting an apology or considering giving one, it is important to realize considering giving one, it is important to realize that that a thoughtful apology can mend a a thoughtful apology can mend a relationship while a thoughtless one may cause relationship while a thoughtless one may cause further conflict.”further conflict.”

UCOA Handbook, 2000.

Warum verlangen wir eine Entschuldigung?

• Verletzung anerkennen• bestätigen, dass der andere seine

Verantwortung akzeptiert. • versichern, dass die Verletzung

nicht wiederholt wird.• Versöhnung ermöglichen• den Ruf wiederherstellen

Remedy and ReliefRemedy and Relief

• Offender offers remedyOffender offers remedy• Offended offers reliefOffended offers relief

Re-establish equilibrium in Re-establish equilibrium in relationshiprelationship

Eine EpisodeEine Episode

In 1995 on a radio talk show, SenatorD’Amato used an exaggerated,

stereotypedJapanese accent to mock Judge Ito,

who waspresiding at the O.J. Simpson trial.

Die erste EntschuldigungDie erste Entschuldigung

“If I offended anyone, I’m sorry. I was making fun of the pomposity of the judge and the manner in which he’s dragging the trial out.”

No relief, but increased tension

Die zweite, überarbeitete Die zweite, überarbeitete EntschuldigungEntschuldigung

“I’m here on the Senate floor to give a statement as it related to that episode. It was a sorry episode. As an Italian-American, I have a special responsibility to be sensitive to ethnic stereotypes. I fully recognize the insensitivity of my remarks about Judge Ito. My remarks were totally wrong and inappropriate. I know better. What I did was a poor attempt at humor. I am deeply sorry for the pain that I have caused Judge Ito and others. I offer my sincere apologies.” possible relief

Wie ist die 2. Wie ist die 2. Entschuldigung anders als Entschuldigung anders als

die erste?die erste?

• Indefinites Pronomen vs. NamenIndefinites Pronomen vs. Namen• Konditionale Aussage vs. Tatsache Konditionale Aussage vs. Tatsache • …………

Komponente einer effektiven Komponente einer effektiven EntschuldigungEntschuldigung

1. “A specific definition of the perceived 1. “A specific definition of the perceived offense. offense. The person offended and the The person offended and the perceived offender need a clear shared perceived offender need a clear shared understanding of the behaviors (or understanding of the behaviors (or omissions) that felt hurtful, rude, or omissions) that felt hurtful, rude, or wrong.” wrong.”

• die Natur des Verhaltens definierendie Natur des Verhaltens definieren

Eine effektive Eine effektive EntschuldigungEntschuldigung

2. Acknowledging that the 2. Acknowledging that the perceived offense caused harmperceived offense caused harm. . The person offended needs The person offended needs recognition that their pain or recognition that their pain or embarrassment was legitimate, even embarrassment was legitimate, even if others might have felt differently. if others might have felt differently.

• die Verletzung anerkennendie Verletzung anerkennen


3. Taking responsibility. 3. Taking responsibility. Offenders Offenders should acknowledge that, whether should acknowledge that, whether or not the offense was intentional, or not the offense was intentional, they were accountable for causing they were accountable for causing harm. harm.

• Verantwortung annehmenVerantwortung annehmen


4. Recognition of wrongdoing. 4. Recognition of wrongdoing. Offenders need to agree that they Offenders need to agree that they were insensitive and made a were insensitive and made a mistake.mistake.

• Verhalten als Fehler erkennen Verhalten als Fehler erkennen


5. A statement of regret. 5. A statement of regret. While “I’m While “I’m sorry” is generally not enough for a sorry” is generally not enough for a complete apology, it is a necessary complete apology, it is a necessary part of any apology and is imperative part of any apology and is imperative for re-building trust. for re-building trust.

• Bedauern erklärenBedauern erklären


6. A promise not to repeat the 6. A promise not to repeat the offense. offense. The offender needs to offer The offender needs to offer a clear plan for self-restraint, a clear plan for self-restraint, improved behavior, and how to work improved behavior, and how to work with the offended person to address with the offended person to address possible future misunderstandings. possible future misunderstandings.

• Versprechen machenVersprechen machen


7. 7. An explanation of why the offender An explanation of why the offender acted this way. Be careful! acted this way. Be careful! An An explanation can be risky as it can sound explanation can be risky as it can sound defensive or seem to be an excuse for bad defensive or seem to be an excuse for bad behavior. Sometimes it is useful for healing behavior. Sometimes it is useful for healing a broken relationship and may set the a broken relationship and may set the groundwork for re-establishing trust and groundwork for re-establishing trust and respect. respect. An explanation is only effective if An explanation is only effective if combined with all the above elements.combined with all the above elements.

• Die Motivation des Fehlverhaltens Die Motivation des Fehlverhaltens angeben angeben

Die erste EntschuldigungDie erste Entschuldigung

“If I offended anyone, I’m sorry. I was making fun of the pomposity of the judge and the manner in which he’s dragging the trial out.”

Die zweite, überarbeitete Die zweite, überarbeitete EntschuldigungEntschuldigung

“I’m here on the Senate floor to give a statement as it related to that episode. It was a sorry episode. As an Italian-American, I have a special responsibility to be sensitive to ethnic stereotypes. I fully recognize the insensitivity of my remarks about Judge Ito. My remarks were totally wrong and inappropriate. I know better. What I did was a poor attempt at humor. I am deeply sorry for the pain that I have caused Judge Ito and others. I offer my sincere apologies.”

Hillary im SpotlightHillary im Spotlight

• Speaking to The Argus Leader of Speaking to The Argus Leader of Sioux Falls, S.D., she added: "My Sioux Falls, S.D., she added: "My husband did not wrap up the husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? in the middle of June, right? We all We all remember Bobby Kennedy was remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in Californiaassassinated in June in California,","

Hillary entschuldigt sichHillary entschuldigt sich“primed move”“primed move”

""I regretI regret that that ifif my referencing my referencing that moment of trauma for our that moment of trauma for our entire nation and in particular entire nation and in particular the Kennedy family was in any the Kennedy family was in any way offensive."way offensive."

Hillary schreibt an The Hillary schreibt an The News News

“ “I pointed out, as I have before, that I pointed out, as I have before, that both my husband’s primary both my husband’s primary campaign, and Senator Robert campaign, and Senator Robert Kennedy’s, had continued into June. Kennedy’s, had continued into June. Almost immediately, some took my Almost immediately, some took my comments comments entirely out of contextentirely out of context and and interpreted them to mean something interpreted them to mean something completely different — and completely different — and completely unthinkable.”completely unthinkable.”

Mr. Axelrod antwortet:Mr. Axelrod antwortet:

““As far as we’re concerned, this As far as we’re concerned, this issue is done. It was an issue is done. It was an unfortunate statement, as we unfortunate statement, as we said, as she’s acknowledged. She said, as she’s acknowledged. She has apologized. The apology, you has apologized. The apology, you know, is accepted. Let’s move know, is accepted. Let’s move forward.”forward.”

““worst possible worst possible readings”readings”

• Obamas SicherheitObamas Sicherheit• ““Stuff happens” (Dowd)Stuff happens” (Dowd)

Zwei Wirkungen:Zwei Wirkungen:

1.1. Maximierung der VerletzungMaximierung der Verletzung

2.2. Ruinierung des Rufs des Ruinierung des Rufs des Verletzenden — “the witch“Verletzenden — “the witch“

Die Interpretation Die Interpretation der Motivation/Absicht und der Motivation/Absicht und

KontextKontext

Die Interpretation einer Aussage Die Interpretation einer Aussage und der Motivation/Absicht und der Motivation/Absicht dahinten erfordert die dahinten erfordert die Berücksichtigung des Kontexts.Berücksichtigung des Kontexts.

Das Verständnis des Kontextes ist Das Verständnis des Kontextes ist nie leicht.nie leicht.

Papst Benedict XVI zitiert den Papst Benedict XVI zitiert den byzantinischen Kaiser byzantinischen Kaiser

Manuel II Paleologus über Glauben and Manuel II Paleologus über Glauben and GewaltGewalt

"Show me just what Muhammad "Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith to spread by the sword the faith he preached."he preached."

Weitere Zitate Weitere Zitate

"God," he says, "is not pleased by "God," he says, "is not pleased by blood - and not acting reasonably blood - and not acting reasonably is contrary to God's nature. Faith is contrary to God's nature. Faith is born of the soul, not the body. is born of the soul, not the body. Whoever would lead someone to Whoever would lead someone to faith needs the ability to speak faith needs the ability to speak well and to reason properly, well and to reason properly, without violence and threats."without violence and threats."

Zusammenfassung des Zusammenfassung des Papstes Papstes

„ „The intention here is not one of The intention here is not one of retrenchment or negative retrenchment or negative criticism, but of broadening our criticism, but of broadening our concept of reason and its concept of reason and its application... Only thus do we application... Only thus do we become capable of that genuine become capable of that genuine dialogue of cultures and dialogue of cultures and religions so urgently needed religions so urgently needed today….“today….“

Reaktion: das Gefühl der Reaktion: das Gefühl der BeleidigungBeleidigung

Der Papst entschuldigt Der Papst entschuldigt sichsich

• At this time, I wish also to add At this time, I wish also to add that that I am deeply sorryI am deeply sorry for the for the reactions in some countries to a reactions in some countries to a few passages of my address at the few passages of my address at the University of Regensburg, which University of Regensburg, which were considered offensive to the were considered offensive to the sensibility of Muslims. sensibility of Muslims.

– –Pope Benedict XVIPope Benedict XVI

BBC News:BBC News:Pope statement fails to end Pope statement fails to end

anger anger

“ “Pope Benedict XVI's statement Pope Benedict XVI's statement of regret for comments he made of regret for comments he made last week on Islam has been last week on Islam has been welcomed by some Muslim groups welcomed by some Muslim groups but has failed to end the anger.”but has failed to end the anger.”

Partial reliefPartial relief

Eine StudieEine Studie

Insincere apologies work as well as Insincere apologies work as well as heartfelt ones for the wronged, but heartfelt ones for the wronged, but not for observer.not for observer.

Risen, J. and Gilovich, T. (2007). "Target Risen, J. and Gilovich, T. (2007). "Target and observer differences in the acceptance and observer differences in the acceptance of questionable apologies," of questionable apologies," Journal of Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,Personality and Social Psychology, 418- 418-433.433.

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Remedial exchanges. Unsere Natur als homo sociologicus Unsere Sozialfähigkeit ist angeboren und unterscheidet uns von anderen Arten. M. Tomasello et al